The Panel: What The Neil Funk
Before we set off into the next phase of this Bulls team, allow us to dwell a bit on what we just witnessed. The ChiCitySports Bulls Panel got together to reflect the 2010-11 season.
The Panel consists of ChiCitySports Staff members. All fans and experts who follow the Bulls religiously.
The Bulls Panel 4 with Chris Snow – Rick Mollway – Houston
How will NBA 2K12 have to adjust it’s gameplay to make the game more realistic according to the 2010-11 season?
RM: The first thing they’re going to have to do is make LeBron James’ rating drop from a 99 to about 10 in the 4th quarter of all games he plays in. You’re gonna need a password to unlock Carlos Boozer’s defense, the password is: (For Playstation 3) press the L1,L2,R1,R2 buttons, all the keypad buttons, the square, triangle, X and circle buttons, the select button and then, while continuing to press all of those buttons at the same time, press right, left, left, right, up, down, diagonal, left and down on both joysticks on the controller.
HOU: Well they already have full season modes, do the whole “Decision” thing from beginning to end. Down to having Reinsdorf and Paxson wearing matching outfits…you can choose the outfits, I would rather they have worn Afros, bellbottoms and platform shoes…would have made a bigger statement. EVERY free agent should do the decision, and have someone ask them dumb ass questions on ESPN, and then say they are doing it for charity. How big? Depends on the player…Lebron does his show on ESPN and raises 3Mil for the Boys Club, Pargo does his on public access and raises $75 dollars for Big Mo’s BBQ little league baseball team, but hey, charity is charity.
CS: Where’s the flop button? I’m dead serious here, these video games need a flop button, a flop rating, and signature flop moves. Ghost whistles are great too, if you want an accurate game. Have a game-ratings system that gives matchups special ratings, and allows for you to get calls more often if you are the favorable team. Allow six players to be on the court at once. Call phantom technicals too. Add an elbow button and elbow rating. Most importantly, don’t forget to allow players to cry, namely the Heat. Beating down your rivals in the regular season should be incentive enough to watch the post-game animations.
RM: Dissolve the Miami Heat franchise.
CS: Do the opposite of what they have been doing since the prime of Jordan! Look, first the league presses Washington to change it’s team name to the Wizards. How did that work out? Well, as the Bullets, nobody brought a gun to the locker room, but as the Wizards, nobody brought magic wands either! Moving Seattle to Oklahoma City might not be too bad of a move, revenue-wise, but shutting out an entire city, just because of politics, doesn’t really cater to your customers either. And why does every league have spacing between the players and its fans, except the NBA?
Hey mommy, what’s a phaggot and why did my favorite player just call daddy one? Seriously, this needs to be a group effort. The fans need to be called out sometimes too for instigating this crap. But I don’t think venue changes will help, more than fans, owners, and players going through ridicule in the courts of public opinion. Look at Ron Artest, he went from going berserk on some fans, to being the most charitable player in the league. Just get out of the way, let the press do its job, don’t cover up stories, and believe me, the games will be more friendly for the kids. Stop protecting Donald Sterling!
HOU: I think fans should do public announcing…and say whatever the hell they want to say! Imagine that in Cleveland, let a straight gangsta do the introductions, I can see it now “And wearing #6 from Akron Ohio, played in Cleveland until he abandoned us because he wasn’t man enough to do it alone…here he is…Pussyassloserlyingchumpassgoofballmuhfucka!!! And if he don’t like it, my name is Tyrell Jenkins and he can meet me outside his locker room so I can stick my foot so far up his ass, we’ll both be taking out talents to South Beach….punk!” Ahhhhhh…good times, where’s Bill Veeck when you need him?
What does David Stern need, to be satisfied with a Player/Owner agreement this off season?
RM: A back-rub from one of his awful referees, a guarantee from all superstar players that they won’t flock to one team so the rest of the league won’t become a watered down less competitive mess and a shot of Jack Daniels.
CS: Aside from a brain transplant, maybe the Players Association can treat David Stern to a few NFL games, before the NBA season is scheduled to start. Oh wait… Well, there goes that idea. Maybe the owners can realize how smart it would be to potentially steal NFL ratings and build up the league image. I’m sure that wont happen. The real question here is: Does David Stern have the most ultimate form of Napoleon Syndrome to ever be seen? Why would he surround himself with people that are twice his size, just to stomp on them year after year. I think the Players need to take one for the league, and just agree to a decent CBA, but demand Stern and his lackeys step down. Appointing a better Commissioner might be easier said, than done, but I think most fans are willing to accept the initial bumps in the road with a new, level-headed czar of roundball.
HOU: Stern wants the players to take pay cuts, he wanted contract to be non-guaranteed…and now I believe, he wants their women and cars…yeah that’s right, hand them over!
It would all go down in a big parking lot…Vanessa Bryant, Lala, all of them damn Kardashians, would now be the “property” of the owners. And the cars too of course, all luxury cars and trucks, specialized and all that…bring them to the parking lot. Then the commissioner will have a “Bitches and Bentleys” draft. The owners and VPs of the various NBA organizations will “scout” the assets and make a draft board. I am sure there’s some “hidden talent” out there. But is a Kardashian worth more than a Maybach? That is the million dollar question…personally, I don’t think a Kardashian is worth much more than a Pathfinder…but that’s just me. (Excuse the extreme sexism here…just having some fun…)
The LeBron love grows with his new signature cell-phone coming out soon, it only vibrates, no rings. At least Wade’s MyFavs phone still has the refs on speed dial.
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