It’s almost that time again folks! Fantasy Football is right around the corner and ChiCitySports is here to provide you with a slew of funny fantasy football team names for the 2012 season.
The only thing more important than maneuvering the waiver wire at 2AM after Monday Night Football is having a catchy, offensive, or funny team name. If you have a funny team name that isn’t in our list, be sure to let us know in the comments section.
You can check out our previous annual lists below.
Run DMC – Fantasy Football is all about snagging the top running back. Guys like Arian Foster and Chris Johnson have dominated in years’ past, this year Darrin McFadden of the Oakland Raiders is going to be among the top backs. He had a great season last year and the Raiders will stick with the PeeWee football concept of “giving the ball to the fast kid every play”. Oh yeah, his initials are also the same as a popular hip-hop group a long time ago…you may have heard of them.
She Gotta Gronk – Rob Gronkowski burst onto the scene of the NFL last season destroying TE records for most touchdowns caught in a season. Patriots QB Tom Brady found himself his new favorite target. Many are asking if how he will follow up that amazing season in 2012. It shouldn’t matter how he does because even if he catches…you know…single digit touchdowns instead of double digit touchdowns, Gronk is still a bro. He’s the most bro player in the entire NFL. As evidenced by him throwing down shortly after the Patriots lost in the Super Bowl on the dance floor and taking shirtless pictures with porn stars. Unfortunately his name aligns itself well with the
popular shitty song I remember hearing on the radio “She Gotta Donk”.
Ice Cold Bruschi’s – Who doesn’t love a good ESPN analyst that used to be a player? Tedy Bruschi ever since becoming an ESPN analyst has pissed off a lot of people and been forced to apologize to them or reference how crazy he was acting. He makes for good television especially when he goes off on people like Ocho Cinco. If Bruschi can take anything away from Rob Gronkowski, it’s that he needs to just chill out, be a bro, and drink some ice cold bruschi’s.
Paea Forte – A Chicago sports site just HAD to get in a Bears team name. Get it? PAY FORTE! Well, not so fast. Bears fans are all about getting Matt Forte signed to a contract that will make him happy but, can we all agree that Matt just needs to shut the hell up? Forte is frustrated with how the front office is handling his contract situation and I am right there with him but, going to the media is the wrong thing to do. I am not on the #PayForte train but I am on the #PayForteArespectableAmountOfMoneySoHeShutsUp train. Get it done Phil Emery!
You Say Goodbye, I say Helu! – I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say Helu!!!! The popular Beatles song “You say goodbye, I say Hello” just so happens to be the perfect lyric to switch out the word for Hello, in exchange for Roy Helu’s last name. The amount of cleverness taken to come up with this one was minimal but, it shall get the job done for fantasy owners that wish to draft Roy Helu.
The White Mike Vicks – At the beginning of last season, ESPN published a story entitled “What if Michael Vick were white?”. Not only was the article stupid but, it was accompanied by a photoshopped picture of Michael Vick…..if he was white. There is no further description needed. This is gold.
Gayless for Bayless – It wouldn’t be an accurate list if we didn’t somehow include Skip Bayless. Bayless plays the “obnoxious bad guy” role on ESPN’s First Take. He is often slobbing on Tim Tebows’ jock for completing less than 50% of his passes or hating on LeBron James. Whether you love him or hate him, you have to admit the guy is entertaining. When he gets torn to shreds by Mark Cuban and the video is passed around the internet like 2 Girls, 1 Cup was, you know he’s at the very least culturally relevant to the sports world. I personally love Skip Bayless, not because he ever makes sense but, because he is a master troll.
Rashard Mendenladen – You may remember when Rashard Mendenhall of the Steelers tweeted about Bin Ladens’ death. If you don’t, you most definitely remember the backlash. Mendenhall tweeted “What kind of person celebrates DEATH? It’s amazing how people can hate a man they have never even heard speak. We’ve only heard one side”. Whether you agree with him or not, the “THIS IS MURRICA!” ideal fully set in. This is an entire season late but, since we didn’t publish it last season, it definitely deserves it!
Matt and Julio Down by the Schoolyard – If there is one thing in life I could teach any of you reading this, it’s that Paul Simon is a wonderful musician and is the man. Another thing I can teach you is that a Matt Ryan and Julio Jones combination this season could be very beneficial to you. Pay homage to Paul Simon, Matty Ice, and Julio Jones with this bomb ass team name.
Off in Church – Your opponent never wants to claim they are “beating off in church”. For that reason, this makes Off in Church the ULTIMATE fantasy football team name.
If you have some good fantasy team names, leave a comment and share it with the world! Or don’t bitch.
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