Based on a true story.
An Edmonton Eskimos fan living in the Chicago area is at his wit's end. His wife is the worst, he hates her and wants her dead. He asks around and finds out about a bar that is a know hangout for unsavory types, criminals and such.
So our hero goes to the place, walks in and sits down at the bar. He orders a drink, chats with the bartender, slips the barkeep a $20 and asks about finding a hitman. The cup bearer points at a table with some well dressed Italian gentlemen sitting around, and says "that's the mob, they are the best, clean work, it will never come back to you, but it will cost you $50K". The guy says there is no way he can afford that, anything cheaper? The drink pourer points to another table and says "those bikers are not as reliable as the mob, it could get messy and come back to you, but it's only $20K." Still too much, anyone's that are cheaper? The mixologist responds "that table over there, those guys are from a street gang, drug addled punks, they will probably kill bystanders and miss the target, and will likely flip on you like Michael Cohen, but will only set you back $5K." I couldn't live with the thought that I was responsible for the deaths of innocents, there has to be another option, he's just flat out begging now. The alcohol chef shrugs his shoulders and says "that guy sitting by himself over there is new here, I don't know much about him other than his name, Artie, good luck that's all there is."
The guys walks over and sits down with Artie, tells Artie what he need done, and asks for Artie's qualifications. Artie responds "I'm new to the business, just trying to make a name for myself, get some street cred as a pro." Okay, how much? "That doesn't matter to me as long as I get credit for a paid hit, that will make me a pro. Pay me a dollar." Okay, we got a deal, he hands over a picture of his wife and detailed instructions on her location. Every Wednesday she goes shopping at Jewel at exactly noon, she is OCD about her shopping schedule. The table of mobsters get agitated hearing "OCD" thinking it could be a reference to the Organized Crime Division of the FBI (thanks to Analyze This for that one) then they settle down. Artie reassures our intrepid protagonist "Wednesday at noon, she dies" Artie takes the info and the one dollar off the table and leaves.
Wednesday, 11:58AM Jewel parking lot. Artie is sitting in his car, but he is a mess, he is freaking out, thinking he is in over his head, doubting if he should even go through with it, his entire body is trembling, his plan for the hit is jumbled in his mind, he's not ready for this and decides to leave. Just then the evil wife from hell pulls up in her oldsmobuick (Fletch) just as his employer had predicted. Artie, throwing caution to the wind leaps from his car and runs into Jewel, up and down the isles looking for his victim, he sees her and pounces on her, Artie begins strangling the woman. This was never Artie's plan for the hit, but his fractured mental state has pushed his mind into overdrive, apparently strangulation is plan B. Just as Artie's victim shuffles off this mortal coil an elderly woman standing nearby begins to scream in horror, Artie leaps to his feet runs and the terrified woman and begins strangling the helpless granny, she too is gone now. The store manager arrives too late to save the two women, but he was determined to do everything within his power to end the carnage and tried to subdue Artie. To no avail, Artie is in a killing frenzy and easily overpowers the hapless shopkeeper claiming his third victim. At this point the Police arrive and are able to cuff Artie and haul him off to jail.
The next day the headline in the Chicago Tribune reads "Artie chokes three for a dollar at Jewel"
