As you might expect, this article is all about jokes at “The King’s” expense. Some may say it is in poor taste, some will call me jealous, and I’m sure I’ll get, “If he was in Chicago you wouldn’t be saying all this!” Well, you’re right, but instead of being in Chicago he’s chillin’ in South Beach, and I find his immaturity as laughable as my own and the compiled efforts of others. So instead of getting bent out of shape, why not just chill out w/ LeBron and the Heatles, and have a little giggle.
(Some of these have been edited by me for purpose of delivery.)
Let’s get the ones out of the way first that everyone’s heard:
- If you ask LeBron for change for a dollar, he’ll only give you 75 cents. He never has the fourth quarter.
- Why didn’t LeBron go to college? He was afraid of the Finals.
Now, for all the rest, I’ll hat-tip the places I heard/read them from. Enjoy!
- Today is National LeBron James Day. Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early!
- Maybe LeBron should try hockey. The NHL only has three periods.
- The haters woke up today with their same lives, just as LeBron woke up today with the same no. of championships they have.
- How do you know you’ve found Lebron James’ cell phone? It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn’t have a ring!
- Why did Lebron head down South? Because his mother went West!
- Why can’t Lebron James write his Auto-Biography? He can’t come up with a title!
From The Chicago Tribune:
- The new movie called “The Fourth” will star LeBron James as the Invisible Man.
- What does LeBron James have in common with a fabric store? Neither carry any hardware.
- Did you hear about the new LeBron Battle Flag? In honor of his 4th quarter efforts in the Finals, it’s solid white.
- LeBron James? Hmm…that name just doesn’t have a ring to it.
From Scout.Com Forums:
- If LeBron wanted a ring, he should’ve just stayed in Ohio. At least he could’ve bought one off Terrelle Pryor.
My own personal jabs:
- Why did LeBron fail his high school drama class? He’s afraid of the spotlight.
- When LeBron James was asked to rate his own 4th quarter suckiness on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst, he responded, “Not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, not 7….”
And now, for some videos mocking the superstar. (Warning, some language is NSFW.)
Betty White Mocks LeBron on Letterman:
Again, this is all in good fun. If you’re severely bent out of shape from this….well, lighten up. LeBron is an amazing talent, and he’s going to win a ring. But since it didn’t happen this season, he can chill in South Beach, and watch the Mavs victory parade…just like the rest of us….all of us that don’t live the kind of life he does, as he pointed out himself…from the couch.
If you have more, feel free to leave them in the comments!
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