Watching paint dry

[Ares]

I am actually just on a conference call monitoring a data center migration.

But might as well be watching fucking paint dry.

Anyone have fun stories?

 

[MDB111™]

I met Kenny Chesney once.
He was playing basketball outside of the arena before the show with his band.
Everyone in my party was afraid to yell down to him.
Me not being the biggest country fan and especially not Kenny Chesney thought it was a good idea to yell down to him.
So I yell out "Hey Kenny, What up?"
He looks up and says "Yall come play with us"
So we all walk down the stairs to the loading dock area of this arena and as we get closer, I notice he and the band are balling out on 7 ft tall rims.
As we get about 10 feet away, I say "Hey Kenny, these rims are too short, I am going to dunk on your head"
He takes major offense to this comment(He is short) and tells us to fuck off.
Everyone in my party is beyond angry with me.
But I'm thinking "You dorks, would have never yelled down to him in the first place, so fuck yuns"
Even my girlfriend at the time refused to talk to me for the rest of the evening.

If you ever get the chance to meet Kenny Chesney, remain calm and silent and then DUNK ON THAT MOTHER FUCKERS HEAD!!!!!

 

[Ares]

I met Kenny Chesney once.
He was playing basketball outside of the arena before the show with his band.
Everyone in my party was afraid to yell down to him.
Me not being the biggest country fan and especially not Kenny Chesney thought it was a good idea to yell down to him.
So I yell out "Hey Kenny, What up?"
He looks up and says "Yall come play with us"
So we all walk down the stairs to the loading dock area of this arena and as we get closer, I notice he and the band are balling out on 7 ft tall rims.
As we get about 10 feet away, I say "Hey Kenny, these rims are too short, I am going to dunk on your head"
He takes major offense to this comment(He is short) and tells us to fuck off.
Everyone in my party is beyond angry with me.
But I'm thinking "You dorks, would have never yelled down to him in the first place, so fuck yuns"
Even my girlfriend at the time refused to talk to me for the rest of the evening.

If you ever get the chance to meet Kenny Chesney, remain calm and silent and then DUNK ON THAT MOTHER FUCKERS HEAD!!!!!

I was more looking for exciting paint-drying stories.

Get your interesting story out of here!

 

[HeHateMe]

I met Kenny Chesney once.
He was playing basketball outside of the arena before the show with his band.
Everyone in my party was afraid to yell down to him.
Me not being the biggest country fan and especially not Kenny Chesney thought it was a good idea to yell down to him.
So I yell out "Hey Kenny, What up?"
He looks up and says "Yall come play with us"
So we all walk down the stairs to the loading dock area of this arena and as we get closer, I notice he and the band are balling out on 7 ft tall rims.
As we get about 10 feet away, I say "Hey Kenny, these rims are too short, I am going to dunk on your head"
He takes major offense to this comment(He is short) and tells us to fuck off.
Everyone in my party is beyond angry with me.
But I'm thinking "You dorks, would have never yelled down to him in the first place, so fuck yuns"
Even my girlfriend at the time refused to talk to me for the rest of the evening.

If you ever get the chance to meet Kenny Chesney, remain calm and silent and then DUNK ON THAT MOTHER FUCKERS HEAD!!!!!

7 ft rims? How short is that mother****er?

 

[Ares]

Dying... this is funny af

 

[nvanprooyen]

One time I was reading a @brett05 post, and I thought to myself, there's gotta be a better use of my time!

Imagine the most boring color you can think of, then think 10x worse than that. Like what you would see on the walls of an abandoned mental asylum from the 1960s.

So I got the guy at Lowes to mix up 'paint that would want to make you kill yourself'. I must have been there for 4 hours (thanks Kevin for your time, it wasn't fun for either of us).

Got the paint home, painted a wall in my bathroom (that didn't need to be painted), sat there on the toilet for 8 hours watching as the hue slightly turned more depressing with each passing hour, as I reflected on the fleeting and fading nature of life.

Tldr; it was better than reading a @brett05 post

 

[Omeletpants]

I met Kenny Chesney once.
He was playing basketball outside of the arena before the show with his band.
Everyone in my party was afraid to yell down to him.
Me not being the biggest country fan and especially not Kenny Chesney thought it was a good idea to yell down to him.
So I yell out "Hey Kenny, What up?"
He looks up and says "Yall come play with us"
So we all walk down the stairs to the loading dock area of this arena and as we get closer, I notice he and the band are balling out on 7 ft tall rims.
As we get about 10 feet away, I say "Hey Kenny, these rims are too short, I am going to dunk on your head"
He takes major offense to this comment(He is short) and tells us to fuck off.
Everyone in my party is beyond angry with me.
But I'm thinking "You dorks, would have never yelled down to him in the first place, so fuck yuns"
Even my girlfriend at the time refused to talk to me for the rest of the evening.

If you ever get the chance to meet Kenny Chesney, remain calm and silent and then DUNK ON THAT MOTHER FUCKERS HEAD!!!!!

Nice story, idiot boy

 

[MDB111™]

7 ft rims? How short is that mother****er?

he was shockingly short. I am 6'3" with shoes on but dude was like Mugsy Bogues to me.

 

[nvanprooyen]

he was shockingly short. I am 6'3" with shoes on but dude was like Mugsy Bogues to me.

Reminds me of the time I checked into a hotel side by side with Warrick Dunn. Literally towered over the dude.

 

[Ares]

The year we had Orlando Pace I went to Bears TC one day and I remember Pace walking up to Chris Williams, our 1st round OT and Pace seemed to tower over him.... dude was a fucking giant.

And it aint like Chris Williams was a small dude.

 

[MDB111™]

I was more looking for exciting paint-drying stories.

Get your interesting story out of here!

One time, my wife took it upon herself to paint our kitchen. She was crazy proud of herself and couldnt wait to show me. When I got home from work, i step into the kitchen to see this paint job that was off(to put it lightly).
The entire wall was like a giant blister. She had failed to wipe down the walls and sand. The paint came off in one pul! Like a giant skin peel.
This was like 13 years ago so looking back on it is funny, but at the time I wanted to chain her to the stove and make her make me food like a good woman should.
I repainted the next morning and we sat and watched the new coats dry and made sweet love on the kitchen floor. I let her put that blue painters tape on my nipples and pull it off slow.

 

[Omeletpants]

One time, my wife took it upon herself to paint our kitchen. She was crazy proud of herself and couldnt wait to show me. When I got home from work, i step into the kitchen to see this paint job that was off(to put it lightly).
The entire wall was like a giant blister. She had failed to wipe down the walls and sand. The paint came off in one pul! Like a giant skin peel.
This was like 13 years ago so looking back on it is funny, but at the time I wanted to chain her to the stove and make her make me food like a good woman should.
I repainted the next morning and we sat and watched the new coats dry and made sweet love on the kitchen floor. I let her put that blue painters tape on my nipples and pull it off slow.

Idiot, you dont have to sand walls before you paint them

 

[Penny Traitor]

this is funny af

"I don't know where the water is"

 

[Ares]

"I don't know where the water is"

Srs I was dying...

YOU'RE NOT STUCK IN THE DRYER

 

[Penny Traitor]

Srs I was dying...

I just watched it again.

"OMG our house is not that big! How are you lost??? We've lived here for two months!"

Fabulous find!

 

[MDB111™]

I just watched it again.

"OMG our house is not that big! How are you lost??? We've lived here for two months!"

Fabulous find!

Why do you keep calling me stepbrother? My name is Eric. You can call me Eric!

 

[Ares]

Srs it gets funnier each time you watch it

 

[Ares]

Can anyone make out wtf she says in the first like 5-6 seconds of the video coming in the door?

 

[Burque]

I got into a Twitter fight with Jmarcus Webb once. It was a short fight.

It was when he was totally blowing ass on our team. His signature move was turning around and trotting over to help Jay Cutler off the ground like a confused child.

Anyway short story but here goes:

This all happened on Twitter.

Him: It's wildin out Wednesday!

Me: It should be "get in your play book Wednesday"

Him: Don't worry, I got it.

Me: That's not what we're seeing on Sundays.

Him: (a picture mean mugging the camera)

 

[Burque]

Oh shoot. Painting stories...

One time I was painting an office and I tried to move the step ladder with the paint bucket on it and it toppled over directly onto me. Like half a gallon of paint.

I didn't watch it dry tho, I hurried my scared ass up trying to clean it up before it dried, so maybe I'm still missing the point here.