Engagement

[beardown28]

So as many of you know, this past summer I got engaged to my girlfriend of three years. Today, she broke it off. 4 days before our 4 year anniversary. I know a lot of you probably don't care but right now I am trying to do whatever I can to help myself cope with what is going on. Any suggestions you all have to get over this?

Her reasoning for breaking it off is she "fell out of love." I have noticed her acting differently here recently and I thought I might have just been thinking into it too much but as of today at 4:30, she handed the ring back to me.

Anyone have anything like this happen to them before. I realize a lot of you are young and probably haven't but for the guys my age.... any suggestions?

 

[brett05]

Sorry dude. She was hooked on a feeling and love is WAY more than a feeling

Nothing I can say will help but you have two choices. Be bitter or grow from it. Your relationship was a success. You may not see it now, but take the good that you've learned and apply it when you do find Mrs beardown28

 

[Uman85]

Sorry to hear that man. Hope you get through the rough time.

 

[inactiveuser1]

So sorry :crying: but if she "fell out of love" she's not the one for you, you deserve someone much better. If you need someone to talk to we're here with you pal

 

[BNB]

damn man.. That sucks.

I can't relate with that situation, but I did have a GF who broke up with me after 3 years. completely different situation than yours, but it honestly took a little while to get over.

What I did was just gonna spend a couple days alone.. then spend a lot of time around my friends doing things to get my mind off of her. when I found someone else a couple months later, I really didn't think about her at all.

Now I just hook up with girls... which isn't a problem for me now since I don't want a serious relationship anyway...

But yeah... I'd suggest doing something along the lines of what I did. Spend a lot of time with people you know well and do things to get your mind off shit.. then hopefully eventually you'll find someone else.

good luck dude.

 

[inactiveuser1]

Like BNB said, distract yourself, spend time with friends, pick up old hobbies, come on CCS more, that's what I did when i got dumped and it's working

 

[Uman85]

You could always try out swinging the other way.

Spoiler

JK bro

 

[Shawon0Meter]

How shitty!

First thing I'll say is if you wanna get back with her, leave her alone. She'll have to know what she's missing to maybe realize her mistake. Constantly calling her or something will push her further away.

In my experience, the only thing to make you get over it will be a new girl. I know right now you're probably thinking "no other girl can make me that happy" and I'm not even saying you're wrong. Being completely honest, I still feel like I never totally replaced a girlfriend that broke up with me after 3 years but I have met another great girl and it makes things 99% easier.

How long it's gonna take you to meet another special girl, I'm not sure. It took me about a year. Not that I was depressed for a whole year, but I did think about it daily until then.

Not the happiest answer but that's my honest advice lol. I really hope it works out for you one way or the other.

 

[Crystallas]

I feel ya. I had something similar happen. A close friend for 11 years, girlfriend for 7 of those years, then poof. She fell for some guy she worked with. Go figure. It's all good, we were ideological opposites.

I know it's hard to do, but find everything you hate about that bitch. Every single detail. Don't worry about what you miss about her, just focus on the negatives. Then motivate yourself to do better, or just enjoy not having a committed relationship.

Just don't go to the meat market and pick up a one-nighter. I know it's tempting, but you need friends. You didn't get dumped, you had life-planned screwed with, and I know how that feels(I don't believe in marriage personally, so I was never engaged, nor do I expect to be, but I hold the commitment values just as high.)

 

[beardown28]

Thanks everyone for all the words. A ton of my friends have already come to my side and while it will be a tough journey, I have a pretty sturdy group of people to help me through it all. I will miss the shit out of her but fact of the matter is she made a choice and I have to accept it.

 

[X]

At the end of the day, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. Better finding out now than 10 years and 2 kids from now. Come to southern ky....I'll by you enough beer to get you hammered and kick your ass in madden, then give ya a hug and tell ya I love ya like a brother.

 

[BNB]

yeah... I think a good way of looking at it is that it's better that it happened now and not after you got married. That would have been even worse. Still doesn't take away the sting, but it could have been worse.

 

[zack54attack]

So as many of you know, this past summer I got engaged to my girlfriend of three years. Today, she broke it off. 4 days before our 4 year anniversary. I know a lot of you probably don't care but right now I am trying to do whatever I can to help myself cope with what is going on. Any suggestions you all have to get over this?

Her reasoning for breaking it off is she "fell out of love." I have noticed her acting differently here recently and I thought I might have just been thinking into it too much but as of today at 4:30, she handed the ring back to me.

Anyone have anything like this happen to them before. I realize a lot of you are young and probably haven't but for the guys my age.... any suggestions?

Heard that before.


My ex dumped me 4 days after Valentines Day last year. Worst feeling in the world. But it gets better...trust me. It always gets better. Just go do things with your friends, it's going to hurt trust me. But you need to get out and do things. Play video games, go play ball, go to the bars, watch movies.

Whatever you do... the main thing is DO NOT CONTACT HER. I made that mistake and it annoyed her. Don't text her, call her, see her, etc. It's hard as fuck, but trust me in the long run it will be worth it. DO NOT TALK TO HER AT ALL.


Good luck.

 

[Uman85]

Heard that before.


My ex dumped me 4 days after Valentines Day last year. Worst feeling in the world. But it gets better...trust me. It always gets better. Just go do things with your friends, it's going to hurt trust me. But you need to get out and do things. Play video games, go play ball, go to the bars, watch movies.

Whatever you do... the main thing is DO NOT CONTACT HER. I made that mistake and it annoyed her. Don't text her, call her, see her, etc. It's hard as fuck, but trust me in the long run it will be worth it. DO NOT TALK TO HER AT ALL.


Good luck.

Best advice in this thread. :clap:

 

[EnjoyYourTiger]

The only thing I can say is that time heals all wounds. We've all been heartbroken before, and the most important thing is to learn and grow from it. I wouldn't be the person I am today without heartbreak in the past. But just like everyone has already sort of said, just occupy your time with things you enjoy doing.

But I'm really, really sorry this happened. But just trust that there's someone out there who won't fall out of love with you, but will love you like you deserve to be loved.

 

[Uman85]

The only thing I can say is that time heals all wounds. We've all been heartbroken before, and the most important thing is to learn and grow from it. I wouldn't be the person I am today without heartbreak in the past. But just like everyone has already sort of said, just occupy your time with things you enjoy doing.

But I'm really, really sorry this happened. But just trust that there's someone out there who won't fall out of love with you, but will love you like you deserve to be loved.

More good advice.

 

[DewsSox79]

1) dont bother contacting her

2) rebound is ok (casually)

3) do NOT mistake a rebound for the next best thing

4) give yourself time to heal

5) make your days ALL about you

6) if you meet someone in the future, do NOT assume that person will be like your last...that thinking will destroy your relationship

7) Do things you normally dont do

I cant stress enough to NOT contact her.

 

[Jysen]

Nothing worse than having the heart torn out by someone you trusted. Unfortunately for me, this is common. My favorite motto, 'Its their loss, not mine.' While it may sound egotistical, its more often than not the truth. If you gave it your all, the respect, the love, the sincere integrity, etc., than its just a matter of recognizing the truth behind that motto. While it hurts like a bitch, causes anger, self doubt, the key is to remember that she walked away, you didnt.

 

[cubsneedmiracle]

Let the hate flow through you!

 

[Jysen]

Than the next step is self pride. You know what your worth, and not in the monetary sense. She walked because she couldnt handle something real. So yes, hang out with friends. Bitch about what pissed you off about her, or just bitch in general. But heres a slight 'kicker'. Her excuse, was just that. Chances are, theres something on her conscious. That can be a multitude of things, but the fact remains she was just flat out too immature to handle it, and that saved you from missing out on someone better.