“Terribly Exciting:” Marc Trestman’s Postgame Locker Talk

I was lucky enough to be present for Marc Trestman’s post-game breakdown to his team following the Bears’ 24-21 victory over the Bengals. I’ve transcribed it here for you, so that you may share in the leadership that is Coach Trestman.

“Players, players. Everyone, can we be gentlemen and take our seats? That’s
it. Thank you, gentlemen.

First off, I would like to congratulate each and every one of you football
players in this locker room for the tremendous effort each one of you
displayed on the football field today. It was a tremendous display, and you
should all feel a tremendous amount of pride in your performance.

I would like to congratulate Jay for… Jay? Jay, thank you for your
attention. I would like to congratulate Jay for his hard work and his
tremendous performance out on the football field. You knew that all eyes were
on you, and you played like everyone was watching you. You worked the hardest
on the team and for that you should be congratulated.

Secondly, Martellus… or wait, third; the second thing was when I
congratulated Jay on his tremendous performance. Thirdly, Martellus, it makes
me warmly proud that you looked within and without for the guidance to make
that first touchdown catch. When we all sat down together in the preseason to write our
self-aspirative assessments, you wrote that one of your trouble patches was
catching the football. I think we are all glad that you zeroed in on areas of
improvement and followed-through like a professional.

This reminds me of something Rich Gannon said to me the year he won the MVP
under my tutelage. He said, “Marc, thank you for your tutelage.” I think those
words resonate just as deeply now as they did then.

Charles, come up here please. Charles, your coverage of Adriel Jeremiah was,
by and large, terribly exciting. You learned from some shortcomings in the
onset of the match, and were able to reflect internally on how to maximize
your ability and make a tremendous interception when the game was at a
crossroads. This hug that I give to you represents how you embraced your
intial shortcomings and, after overcoming your inner spirits, brought your
maximized potential into your being.

…

…

…

Charles, pulling away now means holding yourself back from your tremendous
maximization as a football player.

…

…

You’re welcome, Charles; you may be seated.

You know, When I was coaching Jake Plummer in Arizona, he was having trouble
connecting with his receivers. Not just on a professional football level, but
on a concordant focus level. He would often throw not to the person on his
team, but to the person on the other team. This would often create friction
between the team and their possession of the football. We addressed this as
one of our pain points for the season. He would later tell reporters, “Coach
Trestman was invaluable in helping me channel my maximized potential into a
conduit to my receivers.” You, Charles, were an inverse conduit between
yourself and Andrew. Very advanced, and terribly exciting, at that.

Fifthly, Robert, that was a tremendously exciting kick.

I am reminded of a time in 1981 when then-Miami Hurricanes quarterback Bernie
Kosar, whose potential I was helping to maximize at the time, turned to me at
the end of the season and said, “Thanka Coach Tressman, yurr coachin help
turrrrrrrr massimize my p’tenchul.” Robert, I am glad to have similarly
massimized your p’tenchul.

Now my feelings are telling me that we should addressed a thing that needs to
be addressed. As maximized as out abilities were, we did require some help
from our opponent. Let us not forget how perilously on the edge of defeat we
were until Rey let the more bilious of his humours conquer his rationality. He
lost his centre and committed a penalty of personal aggression. Were it not
for our windfall, the match may have been lost, with all eyes on us.

This is why on Monday everyone needs to be at the practice facility. Be
prepared to dig deep and truly reflect on how each and every one of you can
maximize your abilities. Then, I want you to come prepared with an animal
manifestation of that maximization, and draw it on your focus board.
Martellus, I know your instinct is to draw a unicorn. That is acceptable, but
I want you to challenge yourself to think of other ways you can channel your
animal spirit.

Let me leave you all with words that Jon Gruden once left me in a Daytona
Hooters. “Marc, what you’ve given me is the power of observation, to see a
man, a powerfully built man, and see how his muscular legs plow his body
forward and really get into the pile of men, and appreciate when he explodes
out of the other end.”

See you all for a tremendous practice tomorrow, gentlemen.”