Top 5 reasons why Tim Tebow isn’t going to pan out in the NFL are here. Tebow is one of the most decorated college athletes of all-time, but how does that translate on Sundays? He did win the Heisman trophy, and two national championships….much more then every person reading this article has and will ever do. If any of us were drafted 25th overall in the NFL draft by the Denver Broncos, we might stand just as good a chance at succeeding though. Let’s get down to this list…

#5: Peyton Hillis 2.0

When the Denver Broncos drafted Tim Tebow, they didn’t envision him showing up John Elway when stepped on the field. They envisioned him playing running back or playing Howard Griffith for Knowshon Moreno. Tim Tebow is a great athlete so even in the backfield, he could do well. However him becoming Peyton Hillis 2.0, contributes to why he won’t be a decent quarterback in the NFL.

#4: Prayer Requests?

Tebow made a splash prior to the NFL draft….no, not his poor outing at the senior bowl. We mean when he was told to “Shut the fuck up” prior to the wonderlic test, when he requested his group pray before taking the 50-question exam. We don’t fault Tebow for wishing to pray, however his open religious views may rub people the wrong way. A group prayer to Tim Tebow is like an oral Redbull energy shot. We’re not sure how Josh McDaniels will handle his prayer requests, however the Wonderlic test administrator shot it down as if it were relationship advice from Jesse Palmer.

#3: Communication Isn’t a Strong point

Communication is a very important quality to have as a quarterback. This is something Timothy Tebow severely lacks. Not being able to communicate the correct play call to your teammates is critical in finding success.

For instance here is a simple play call, this is how the team interprets it.

This is how Tebow interprets the play call.

#2: Liquid Courage

Captain Neckbeard, who also goes by the alias Kyle Orton isn’t a fan of Tim Tebow nor his choice beverage. Tim Tebow drinks the holy water, and Orton drinks Jack Daniels, straight. Putting these guys together is going to be like mixing oil and water or Ben Roethlisberger with drunk chicks. If Tebow is going to be heir to the throne in Denver, he’s going to have to step his game up. Who has 2 thumbs, is better then Tim Tebow, and in general is awesome at life? That guy…plus Orton has mentioned Tebow is down with “Team Edward”….whatever that means.

#1:  Well….nevermind.

How amateur of us, we completely forgot that he’ll be playing the AFC West. On second thought, Tebow should do just fine with the Denver Broncos regardless of his position or role. A team assembled of Filipino children whom Tebow performed circumcisions on, could outperform the opposing defenses in the AFC West. With that being said, Tebow will be just fine in the NFL. If you aren’t a fan of sarcastic lists..apparently Tebow has a hot girlfriend, so I leave you all with this. However it was a debunked rumor from the internet…anyway..despite not being his girlfriend, she is indeed hot.

Tebow 3:16

7 thoughts on “Top 5 Reasons Why Tim Tebow Won’t Pan Out”

  1. Praying is nothing more than talking to yourself. Or making a public showing of it like Tebow does. No, imaginary friends cannot hear. Or answer. Just ask Tim to present any credible evidence his invisible god figments exist anywhere outside the imagination of human minds. He can’t do that.

  2. Haters will be haters! I bet you’re all pissed off and crying about Tebow now. So you tell me, was the Bronco win over the Steelers because of Tebow’s amazing performance or divine intervention? Probably just an accident… He threw 316 yards in 10 passes. John 3:16- For God so loved the world… Do you need God to come down out of the clouds and strike you down or is that enough evidence for you? I’m guessing there will never be enough evidence. You can’t ask a blind person to see.

  3. Be sure to read the whole article.

    Reasons 5, 4, 3, and 2 are just jokes.

    #1 says he will do just fine and people are overreacting.

    Learn to read 🙂

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *