Funny Fantasy Football Team Names for 2014 NFL Season, Best of the Best


You’re here because you’re looking for funny, clever, or offensive fantasy football team names for the 2014 NFL Season. ChiCitySports has been putting out funny fantasy football team name lists for many years. Check out some of our past work

Check out our lists from years previous….we are kind of a big deal!

2013 List – 2012 List – 2012 List pt. 2 – 2011 List – 2011 List pt. 2 – 2010 List

Let’s jump right into the nitty gritty. We’ll get a list of what we deem to be funny, offensive, and clever team names for the entire league. Then we’ll throw a splash of Chicago centric team names at you…because we can.

League Wide Team Names

Turn Down for Watt : If you haven’t heard the Lil Jon song “Turn Down for What” you aren’t missing out on much. However, JJ Watt’s last name and what are similar. Similar enough to coin this gem of a team name.

MonicaLovesClintonDixx : Anytime we can fit in a dick joke/reference, we will. Green Bay’s new safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix has dick in his last name. This sets up the perfect name for a Bill Clinton/Monica Blowjob reference.

Don’t Luck at my Fleener : Andrew Luck is the QB of the Colts and Fleener is his tight end. Remember when we said we wouldn’t pass up a dick joke/reference? 

It Ertz when Eifert : If you can draft both of these tight ends, you are at the pinnacle of team names. Zach Ertz (PHI) and Tyler Eifer (CIN)….fart. Get it. 

Geno-Cologists : In an attempt to further this downward spiral of immaturity, we’re now comparing Jets QB Geno Smith’s name to a gynecologist. Because, why not?

Rice’s Elevator Rides : Ray Rice punched out his fiancee in an elevator. No further explanation needed.

The Jamaalocaust : This may be dipping deeper into the “offensive” category but the onslaught of points you douse your opponent in will fill them with horrible feelings, comparable to the holocaust….. : ( *Sidenote, I was eliminated from the playoffs due to Jamaal Charles this past season.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Bortles : Last year we went with Teenage Newton Ninja Turtles, this season it’s all about Teenage Mutant Ninja Bortles. 

Wham! Bam! Thank you Cam! : Can’t leave ole’ Cam Newton off this list, as a QB who will likely put up many points, diss your opponent every time he checks the score with this semi-positive, not demeaning or negative team name! 

Breesus, King of the Drews : Breesus Christ. Self-explanatory. 

Henne Given Sunday : Chad Henne is still in the NFL, which means Henne Given Sunday, he can earn your team points. 

De more de maryius : As a former owner of this past season, the more, the merrier….this one is pretty clever. 

I Pitta the fool : Dennis Pitta of the Ravens will pitta the fool who doesn’t use this as their team name. 

Gotta Catch Jamaal : A more positive team name than “The Jamaalocaust”. Pokemon reference, win over the affection of the league with this one. 

Ladies & Edelman : Ladies & Gentlemen….Ladies & Edelman. OH YEAH.

Golden Taint : After a couple names going in a more positive direction, we want to remind you how immature these lists are…..Golden Taint. 

Pardon Me Eiferted : Tyler Eifert knew what he was getting into upon being drafted into the NFL. His last name sounded like “fart”. Leaving the internet giggling like children. 

InGorious Staffords : This is a Chicago site so I must remind you….Stafford is a basterd. But his name can be used in conjunction with an awesome movie, the Inglorious Bastards. Watch it. 

Insane Clowney Posse : The Dorky clown band….#1 overall draft pick DE Clowney….no need to explain this one.

The White Welkers : As a game of thrones fan….Wes Welker….White Walkers. This is that much more awesome because he is a white wide receiver.

Chicago Themed Team Names

MANBEARBRIGGS : I am very much leaning towards this as my own fantasy team name this season. As a Bears fan, anybody who has seen the episode of South Park will genuinely appreciate this one.

He Went to Jared : We signed Jared Allen. OH YEAH.

Forte Shades of Jay : Jay Cutler and Matt Forte are so dreamy. You can combine their names to form this name that brings up that book porn that is known as Fifty Shades of Gray.

Peanut Cutler Jeffery Time : Peanut Butter, Jelly Time. If you could make this more vulgar, I would definitely go this route.

Edward Forte Hands : A drinking game coupled with a Bears player? Sign me right the hell up for this one!

Bear Force One  : Air Force One is what the president flies on. Bear Force One is a nickname for the 45 yard bombs that Jay Cutler throws to B-Marsh, The Show/Air Jeffery, and Black Unicorn.

Cash4Gould.Com : A classic if you can secure Robbie Gould in your fantasy draft. Unless you have the #1 overall pick in your draft, chances are he’ll be gone by the time your pick comes around.

Tillman Ball Punchers : There are only 3 to 4 things funnier than somebody getting punched in the balls, that is why this made the list.

Forte Oz. to Freedom : As a Sublime fan, when you combine the Bears running back and a 90’s ska band that I genuinely enjoy, you get a badass team name.

Alshon Joffery : I probably deserve a Tillman Ball Punch for putting Alshon Jeffery’s name this close to Joffrey from Game of Thrones but….I will repent later to the old gods. 

Maesters of the Midway : Game of Thrones reference. Maester. Midway. DA BEARS! 

4 thoughts on “Funny Fantasy Football Team Names for 2014 NFL Season, Best of the Best

  • August 1, 2014 at 3:02 PM

    Al I Do Is Win, Shon – The perfect mixture of Alshon Jeffery, DJ Khaled, and your best Sean Connery impersonation.

  • August 18, 2014 at 11:15 PM

    Winning is my Forte

  • October 18, 2014 at 7:11 AM

    Last year my team name was “Bush is my Forte”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *