CHICITYSPORTS – Chicago Sports  Blog – News – Forum – Rumors – Fans
  • BEARS
  • BULLS
  • BLACKHAWKS
  • CUBS
  • WHITE SOX
  • MESSAGE BOARD
Navigation
  • About Us
  • Chicago Sports Podcasts
  • ChiCity+
  • CHICITYSPORTS – Chicago Sports Blog – News – Forum – Rumors – Fans
  • Get In Touch
  • Join Our Group
  • Newsletter
  • Our Writers
  • Privacy Policy
  • Want to Write for ChiCitySports?
Facebook Twitter Instagram
Trending
  • Philadelphia Eagles could break record set by dominant Chicago Bears defense
  • Can Hendrickson Guide Fire to MLS Playoffs?
  • Bears’ David Montgomery responds to contract talk rumors
  • Jaiden Felds signs NIL deal with WWE’s ‘Next in Line’ program
  • Chicago Bulls are on the way to the top this 2023
  • Why David Montgomery was the most consistent player on the Bears offense
  • Commanders insider has good news about potential Chicago Bears free agent target
  • Kiper: No deal, Chicago Bears take best player in Draft
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Our Writers
  • Want to Write for ChiCitySports?
CHICITYSPORTS – Chicago Sports  Blog – News – Forum – Rumors – FansCHICITYSPORTS – Chicago Sports  Blog – News – Forum – Rumors – Fans
  • BEARS

    Philadelphia Eagles could break record set by dominant Chicago Bears defense

    January 27, 2023

    Bears’ David Montgomery responds to contract talk rumors

    January 26, 2023

    Jaiden Felds signs NIL deal with WWE’s ‘Next in Line’ program

    January 26, 2023

    Why David Montgomery was the most consistent player on the Bears offense

    January 26, 2023

    Kiper: No deal, Chicago Bears take best player in Draft

    January 25, 2023
  • BULLS

    Chicago Bulls are on the way to the top this 2023

    January 26, 2023

    3 possible trade targets for the Chicago Bulls

    January 19, 2023

    Air Jordan 11 ‘DMP’ to get Holiday 2023 release?

    January 19, 2023

    Chicago Fans’ One Wish for Every Team in 2023

    December 31, 2022

    Zach LaVine trade rumors: 3 possible destinations

    December 30, 2022
  • BLACKHAWKS

    Comparing the Dynamic of Two Rebuilding Clubs

    January 25, 2023

    Chicago Fans’ One Wish for Every Team in 2023

    December 31, 2022

    Blackhawks’ Sam Lafferty returns to line-up vs. Jets

    December 9, 2022

    Blackhawks recall Lukas Reichel from Rockford

    December 6, 2022

    Phillip Danault: A Player Extraordinaire

    November 29, 2022
  • CUBS

    Chicago Cubs still sculpting their bullpen

    January 17, 2023

    Chicago Cubs 2023 prospect watch: Matt Mervis

    January 15, 2023

    Cubs add three shortstops through International Prospect signing day

    January 15, 2023

    Cubs and Trey Mancini agree to a two-year deal

    January 14, 2023

    Cubs hot stove: With Nick Madrigal as the odd man out, could the Cubs trade him?

    January 13, 2023
  • WHITE SOX

    Chicago White Sox 2023 prospect watch: outfielder Oscar Colas

    January 18, 2023

    Chicago Fans’ One Wish for Every Team in 2023

    December 31, 2022

    MLB analyst pitches insane White Sox Yankees trade

    December 22, 2022

    Outfielder Andrew Benintendi signs with White Sox

    December 16, 2022

    Analyst Reveals Poor Grade For White Sox Offseason So Far

    December 12, 2022
  • MESSAGE BOARD
Facebook Twitter Instagram
CHICITYSPORTS – Chicago Sports  Blog – News – Forum – Rumors – Fans
Home»Bears»Presidential Orders: 10 Things Barack Obama Should Do to Help the Chicago Bulls
Bears

Presidential Orders: 10 Things Barack Obama Should Do to Help the Chicago Bulls

Z PBy Z PDecember 20, 20104 Mins Read
Facebook Twitter Reddit Tumblr Email
obama basketball
obama basketball
Share
Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

SATIRE —

obama basketball

The Chicago Bulls have a fan sitting in the highest office in the land.

And as we have seen by the President poking fun at the L.A. Lakers for giving up a win against his Bulls team, he seems to be a true and blue fan.

This might make us wonder, what are some of the potential advantages to having such a powerful fan of your team in the White House?

Bail Out… Luol Deng’s Contract?

Perhaps the President can use some of that 800 billion dollars of Federal bail-out money to help Jerry Reinsdorf buy out Luol Deng’s enormous contract?

Nah, we kid, we kid. You know we love you, Lu!

Make MJ Mayor Of Chicago

Move over, Rahm Emanuel.

If President Obama wants to find a man that the people of Chicago want as their mayor, look to no other than His Airness.

It sure would beat watching his Charlotte Bobcats get pounded on a near nightly basis…

Derrick Rose: Secretary Of Stylin’

Maybe Barack could find a replacement, for interim Chief of Staff, Pete Rouse in D-Rose. After all, Barack does seem to prefer giving out seats in the White House to fellow Chicagoans—why not a fellow South Sider?

He may want to consider changing the job title from Chief of Staff to “Secretary of Stylin'” though. As Joakim Noah said, despite Derrick’s soft-spoken demeanor off-the-court, his swag is ridiculous when he goes to work.

Appoint Phil Jackson Governor Of Illinois

President Obama was not shy to bring up the fact that Phil Jackson has won one more title with the Chicago Bulls than he has with the Los Angeles Lakers at a charity photo-op just over a week ago.

If Obama somehow appointed the “Zen Master” as the governor of Illinois, his home state would certainly have a winner to lead it for once.

And even if Phil ends up like his predecessors and has to do hard time, at least he would no longer be winning NBA hardware…

Place State Of Florida With Income Tax

Maybe D-Wade and King James would reconsider the choice of picking “South Beach” over the Chicago Bulls when the state of Florida has to pay the same income tax rates as the rest of the nation…

That could definitely leave the two super stars feeling “like a Bosh.”

Make Illegal Screens… Illegal

How many times have you seen Kevin Garnett, of the Boston Celtics, jump out or move while setting a pick for a teammate?

The answer is probably close to the same number of times which he has set one…

If the referees aren’t going to blow their whistles for it, maybe the Commander-in-Chief should take matters into his own hand, and actually make illegal screens against the law.

Dedicate a Section Of Health Care Bill For Boozer/Noah

Both of the Bulls’ big men are important assets to the team as they look to make a playoff push.

But, unfortunately, neither are a stranger to the injury bug.

Maybe President Obama can write-in a section of the health care overhaul with the sole purpose in mind of preventing further injuries to the Bulls’ front court, and keeping Joakim and the Boozington ready to play.

Pardoning Benny The Bull

Whether he is fighting on the Jerry Springer show, resisting arrest by punching a cop in the face, or getting sued for giving a Chicago dentist an over-exubrent high five… it seems that the beloved Bulls’ mascot cannot stay out of legal trouble for very long.

Thankfully, it seems that Benny the Bull may have a friend in the White House to bail him out of trouble.

Sign Executive Order To Put Dennis Rodman In The Hall Of Fame

If the President is a true and blue Bulls’ fan, we should not be surprised to see him pull some strings or make some phone calls to get the greatest rebounder of all-time, “The Worm,” in the 2011 Basketball Hall of Fame.

Move Guantanamo Bay To MSG

They have been talks of moving the detention center, for suspected terrorists and war criminals, out of Cuba and onto the mainland ever since President Obama took office.

Perhaps the perfect new location would be Madison Square Garden.

If this came true, it would beg the question:

Where do ya wanna play now, ‘Melo?

 

Rami Abboud

For More Great Chicago Sports Content

Follow us on Twitter at @chicitysports23 for more great content. We appreciate you taking time to read our articles. To interact more with our community and keep up to date on the latest in Chicago sports news, JOIN OUR FREE FACEBOOK GROUP by CLICKING HERE

2011 2012 bail out Barack Obama bill Carlos Boozer Chicago Bulls ChiCitySports.Com chief of staff Democrat dennis rodman Derrick Rose governor Guantanamo Bay hall of fame health care humor Joakim Noah Liberal mayor Michael Jordan Pete Rouse Phil Jackson President Rahm Emanuel Rami Abboud satire swag
Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn WhatsApp Reddit Tumblr Email
The Worst Things Bart Simpson Has Ever Done Ranked
Z P
  • Twitter

Chicago sports.

Related Posts

Around the NFL January 27, 2023

Philadelphia Eagles could break record set by dominant Chicago Bears defense

Bears January 26, 2023

Bears’ David Montgomery responds to contract talk rumors

Bears January 26, 2023

Jaiden Felds signs NIL deal with WWE’s ‘Next in Line’ program

Bears January 26, 2023

Why David Montgomery was the most consistent player on the Bears offense

Bears January 25, 2023

Kiper: No deal, Chicago Bears take best player in Draft

Blackhawks January 25, 2023

Comparing the Dynamic of Two Rebuilding Clubs

1 Comment

  1. Chicago Bulls rumors on December 28, 2010 9:09 am

    this is funny stuff man, keep it up. The Worm needs to be in the Hall of Fame!!!

Leave A Reply

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

Team Message Boards

bears TP
bulls TP
cubs TP
sox TP
hawks TP
we want you to write
Facebook Twitter Instagram YouTube
  • Home
  • Message Board
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Our Writers
  • Want to Write for ChiCitySports?
© 2023 ChiCitySports. Designed by Dope Guys Who Run ChiCitySports.

Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.